i'm sorry

u should noe whu u r if u r reading tis.. sorry for all the harsh words tt i used on u tt nite. pls blame mi. i haf no one to blame if u dun forgive mi. i noe i deserve all tis. u can hate mi forever. i deserve all tis. sorry..

its true tt life is nv smooth sailing.. juz when i tout i was picking myself up, finally able to walk happily for at least quite awhile.. den everiting came faling down again.. i fell again.. i'm hafing prob facing problems. i lost the ability to face up to things tt r happening.. or i nv acquire tt ability b4. i will escape.. pretend nutting happen. juz like wat i did tis morning.. i hope ur change for the beta didn't come too late. i hope my fear will not come true. for i cannot handle tt. i mean i realli cannot. i suffered it once b4. i dun wish to suffer it again. cos i nv realli recovered fr the previous fall. i noe there's a prob, but i nv had the courage to find out. the fear of knowing the truth is too huge. the truth might b too much for mi. i choose to escape.. pls dun let mi noe aniting.. i choose not to noe aniting. i choose to escape.. its a beri bad habit. i noe i should face up to it. but i cannot handle the truth. tt's rebecca.